We've got a very special comic this week, courtesy reader G.G.; it's a giant tabloid-sized black and white comic book re-creation of a seminar concerning research processes and the analytic methods that allow decision-making in terms of categoric or systemic or traditional technique and the methodic categorization thereof. And it's all about art!
As we see from the opening introduction, this is based on "approximately" one hour, eight minutes, and fifty six seconds of digital footage. If you're not quite sure where the approximation comes in, let me assure you that we're not certain if it's 1:08:56 and 3/10ths, or 1:08:56 and 4/5ths of a second. That's a degree of inaccuracy that simply cannot be allowed to pass unmentioned! And now, if you're ready, let's begin this discussion!!
Whew! I feel smarter already! So what we're dealing with here is a 25-page comic, each page with the exact same 12-panel layout, featuring drawings of photographs taken of 5 Europeans and 1 American, engaged in a heated discussion on research processes in art. And let me remind you that this is Europe's Creative Class. Obviously this was THE most creative way to present this material. Let's continue!
We are rockin' right along here, we've made a lot of progress, because determining which kind of research process we're going to spend hours mumbling about is very important. Remember, we're not going to actually DO any research. We are TALKING ABOUT the kinds of research that go INTO the process of making art. You may think that you can just, you know, get some stuff and make some art. Oh, you foolish, naive peasant! Don't you know there are entire systems of research that need to be talked about first?
It's at this point, the misinterpreting APOCALYPSE NOW point, that the frustration really starts to set in. If you went to art school you know these guys. They can't mix a flesh tone or produce a workable ad comp or a reasonable drawing of a tree or a hand, but by God, can they talk! When it's time for critique they offer tracings of advertising logos or photos ripped out of magazines and they waste the entire class period BSing about the brilliance of their conceptual method. The endless psuedointellectual bullshit of these talentless wonders has completely destroyed 'fine art' as something the average citizen might enjoy. But when these pedantic jerkoffs start messing with COMIC BOOKS - the last bastion of energetic nativist American primitivism- that's where I draw the line!!
Oh my god, something happened! The phone's ringing! Pick up the phone! Quit talking, pick it up!
No! Don't just let it ring! Quit talking, pick it up!
Whew. That small moment of tension and drama has been safely averted. Please, continue this vital discussion that cuts to the very core of human existence.
Oh SHIT - a CLEAR and DIRECT STATEMENT concerning ACTUAL EVENTS that occur in the REAL WORLD? A DIRECT YES OR NO QUESTION?
You MAGNIFICENT BASTARD.
FUCK FUCK FUCKITTY FUCK WHAT DO I DO
Answer a question with ANOTHER QUESTION!! Well played my boy, WELL PLAYED! Here, have another five thousand dollars of taxpayer money!
Climaxing with a gripping finale of twenty-four virtually identical panels, LOVE AMONGST EUROPE'S CREATIVE CLASS draws to a bewildering and jargon-filled close. Our contempt for its useless cast of babbling do-nothings is matched only by the amazement felt upon realizing that this comic is only part of a larger, even more meaningless project, which is COMPLETELY FUNDED BY ARTS GRANTS. As a taxpayer I am INSULTED, but as an artist I want to learn more, namely WHERE CAN I GET IN ON THIS SWEET SWEET EURO ACTION???? HAH? C'MON GUYS, um, THEORETICAL PRAXIS MARXISM NARRATIVE PROCESSES IN COMBINATION WITH RELATIONSHIPS INVOLVING MULTIPLICITIES OF CULTURAL CODEDNESS! MONEY!
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