As you will remember from our last episode, the Super Heroes - those amazing teenager-controlled androids that can make things cold, can cause loud sounds, can shoot lasers from their eyes, and can fly through the air - the Super Heroes stopped a rampaging nuclear robot by making him fall down. And now our four Super Heroes retreat to their hidden lair, which is an abandoned opera house. Let's rejoin them as they pause to savor the fruits of victory!
That's just like androids controlled by teenagers, let them alone for five minutes and they're playing that terrible rock and roll music at ear-splitting volume. Note the confident, masterful expressions on the faces of the World's Greatest Super Heroes as they, uh, writhe in pain because the most useless member of the team has no idea what he's doing. Super Heroes, everybody
Panic, fear, poor choices in haircuts and headgear, being frozen solid as the only recourse - this is exactly the kind of decisive heroic action America's children demand from their super heroes. Not THESE super heroes, mind you - THEY vanished after 4 issues.
WILL ANYONE FIND THEM? IS ALL LOST? Again, as we pointed out last time, we don't know, comic book. Why ask us? YOU wrote it. You want us to come down there and do your job for you? Because we could. We could write a better comic book than this with one hand tied behind our back, with one foot in a bucket, while raising three children and holding down two jobs at the factory. Any day of the week. Don't make me come down there.
And in the very next panel we find the teenagers just wake up and everything is fine, making the panicky narration of the previous page seem even more paranoid. Maybe the narrator needs to take a break and relax for a while with something calming and low-impact. Might I suggest a Dell super-hero comic?
The teens just leave the androids lying around an abandoned opera house, which kind of makes us realize that we never did learn who exactly built these androids, why they were standing in the "Dell Hall Of Heroes" to begin with, and also makes us wonder why the people who built these androids aren't out looking for the androids they built. You steal four cars and boy, they'll be out looking for you, believe me!
But our four youngsters vow to use their super androids to battle evil, and as a springboard for elaborate fantasies as to what exactly they'll do with their hypersonic sounds if they ever seen a crime in progress. And I'm sure many wish-fulfillment dreams will be spun, until the rightful owners of these androids show up to retrieve their stolen property.
And what of the evil super robot they just knocked off a ledge? The city destroying super robot that had the entire town in an uproar and was witnessed by dozens falling to his doom? Has the robot been surrounded by police, onlookers, bystanders, well-wishers, and excitement-seekers? Nope, he just lies there, emitting static and tinkles.
Uh oh, Professor Beardo is back again, he's still got his pickup truck, and he still lives in a city where nuclear reactors outnumber Starbucks. It looks like our evil robot destroyer will be back for Round Two!
It isn't often you get an incredibly stupid piece of dialogue right next to an incredibly smart piece of dialogue, but it's happening right here!
That first panel is so weird, this strange insertion of "Dad" leaping into the frame to change the radio station. I guess Dell realized that at no point had they shown these teenagers having homes or parents or lives of any sort, and figured they'd better make sure we all know that our teenagers aren't abandoned juvenile delinquents, but are honest clean living homework-completing American teenagers who might listen to the radio, sure, but aren't upset when Dad rushes in to switch the station from Murray The K to some boring news report about rampaging robots. I might also ask what the hell did we have the Emergency Broadcast System and all those warning sirens for, if not for rampaging nuclear robots? This city is really lying down on the disaster warning job. It probably deserves to be destroyed.
And thus does Enndo-Man, a computer-brained robot without emotions or free will, suddenly get angry and start hollering at the stupid flesh-and-blood human fools, destroying all their works. I guess that's what atomic radiation does to machines, makes them hate all humanity. Good to know.
Another thing that atomic radiation does to robots is it makes them appreciate androids built in the form of Stefanie Powers. Who, by the way, can release miles and miles of unbreakable threadlike filament through some sort of android spinneret - just like the real Stefanie Powers!
It's an old story, isn't it gals? You finally ensnare a robot in your unbreakable fibers, but he only wants you to join forces with him to destroy the city. Why are all the good ones either gay, or married, or crazy city-demolishing robots?
Whoops, looks like Enndo-Man was only fooling and the force of his gamma ray beam blasts Laser Dude backwards with tremendous force. You know, like radiation does. Remember, that's why they give you that lead apron when you get X-rayed at the dentist, to keep the force of those X-rays from blowing you through the back wall of the dentist's office!
Well, if unbreakable fibers and speechifying won't stop that evil robot, then there's only one thing left to try, the android feminine wiles of the Stefanie Powers android. Come with me, Enndo-Man, and we'll have a wonderful life together smashing and destroying everything humanity holds dear.
Help me Enndo-Man, I can't swim. I'm an android who can fly, and who does not need to breathe, so I really don't need any help, but don't let your super intelligent computer brain think about that for too long, just plunge here into the lake and save me with your strong robot pincers. Hurry!
And with the help of the only other Super Hero android who's been of any use at all during this entire exciting Super Hero adventure, the evil robot Enndo-Man is frozen in the midst of a frozen lake, with only the rampaging nuclear fires within Enndo-Man offering any hope of escape. But let's not worry about that, say the writers of this amazing super-hero story.
We did it! We're the most powerful superheroes in the world! Now we'll just stash these androids that aren't ours in this building we broke into, and then we'll talk some more about what a great force we are fighting for justice and the law. Because that's what we're all about, fighting evil by stealing and trespassing.
And no, they never do catch Professor Evil Robot Creator. Maybe he shows up again in the three other issues of Dell's "Super Heroes". Yeah, this lasted three more issues, until the invisible nuclear city-destroying robot hand of the markeplace smashed it like a boring, long-winded, Dell Comic of a bug.
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