And now let's join 1940, already in progress, as a parade of colorful characters defeat boredom with grace and athletic skill! But enough about the Radio City Music Hall Rockettes, let's talk about super heroes.
JOHN DICKERING DISCOVERED GAS BLOODSTREAM FLIGHTS DISINTEGRATING GLASS CRIMES EVIL HYPNOTIST pant pant WANTED POLICE AIDED NEWSPAPERWOMAN IDENTITY ONE-MAN WAR OPPRESSION pant pant gasp. So that's The Comet: disintegrating rays from his eyes stopped by a visor, pointy little chin, moons and stars and pretty clovers on his outfit, and DAT ASS
Tonight the part of "waves of high-voltage electricity" will be played by shards of yellow glass. The management apologizes for any inconvenience this may cause.
The State Legislature meets in emergency "total puss out" session!
No state is going to puss out while The Comet is around, however! The best part about being a super-person? Doors, and opening windows like a normal person, are concepts meaningless to super people!
Even though The Comet stands erect and gives an impassioned speech about not giving in to the whims of an electrical madman, the police are just like, it's The Comet, standing in the middle of a crowd of onlookers during a special session of the State Legislature, open fire! Just start blasting away, policemen. Wouldn't be the first time. Maybe you can nail a few state senators while you're at it.
Two things I'm learning about The Comet's body: his torso's ability to hover in the air while speaking to Thelma Gordon, and DAT ASS
The murdering electrical fiend condemns a city to death, and Thelma seems to be contemplating which brand of shampoo she's going to use later.
Sure, fire your disintegrating ray towards the crowded street, hoping that it will destroy the electrical waves. And if you miss and kill some people, well, they were going to die anyway, right?
Meanwhile in the home of noted Satanist Aleister Crowley, a collection of ugly bald men plot their electric girl-snatching crimes.
Bob? Hey Bob. I already have the girl. Your elbow is right in my face. Bob, lay off, I got this!
Let's just assume that Thelma Gordon was asked to talk, or threatened with some kind of evil torture, because the comic is unclear on this point. At any rate the story demands that we just keep moving and never let it be said that the comics of the Golden Age didn't maintain forward momentum at all costs.
The Daily Blast - your choice for front page extras and disaster-related scoops! If it doesn't blast, we don't print it!
That's what I like to see - super heroes who wait patiently for the evening paper.
Wow, not only did Thelma concoct this secret code message, she managed to somehow get the compositing department of the newspaper to space each line in the precise order to allow her secret message to be understandable! I guess The Master let her fax over a rough layout, or something.
We need money so we'll take this amazing electrical death ray machine over to Wall Street and demonstrate it to investors and do an IPO and make millions and millions of dollars in legitimate business. No, wait, let's just murder some bystanders, that's MUCH more lucrative. Or we WOULD, except that we left the window open and The C-C-Comet just invited himself over for tea and he isn't even wearing a frilly dress! The nerve.
Super Hero tip #6 - always come to attention and salute your enemy before blasting him into nothingness with your disintegrating eye-beams.
So The Master has not only invented a super electric death ray, but he can also spin glass into a flexible net? Why is this person a murdering renegade? Industry needs minds like his!
Nothing like polite chitchat and a round of introductions between super adversaries to really set the pleasant tone of your super hero adventures.
But it was all stalling for time as Thelma points the electric death ray right at The Comet and pulls the trigger. Uh Thelma, things between you and The Comet may not be working out but I don't know if this is the right way to resolve your issues...
When the "electric death ray" and the "disintegrating beam" meet it's a psychedelic freakout that will blow your mind! Live at the Fillmore! It also frees The Comet who is now able to murder people in cold blood, because heroes
That's the end of the death machine, the beginning of a giant page one headline for Thelma Gordon, the middle of a sad self-pitying speech by The Comet who's forced to wear nerdy spectacles for the rest of his life, and the start of a panic attack by the letterer as he suddenly realizes he forgot the words "in the new issue of" and has to cram them in there somewhere. Look for more adventures of The Comet over the next six decades as various iterations of MLJ/Archie attempt to revive the character over and over again to no success! 1940 out!
PREVIOUS STUPID COMICS
NEXT STUPID COMICS
BACK TO STUPID COMICS INDEX
BACK TO MAIN INDEX