Now here's a Stupid Comics that might just have something to say to all the enthusiasts out there, all those who immerse themselves deep into their interests and become so all-consumed that they can't see the rest of the big, wonderful world that's just in front of their faces. Which super nerdy fan-driven geek loser dweeb obsession will be the focus of this story? Batman? Star Trek? Civil War re-enacting? Pogs?
Football! It's football. There was once a time in American culture when an enthusiastic interest in football was seen as detrimental! Imagine that. What a golden age that must have been. Anyway, as the leering head of GIRL looms over the gridiron, let's continue with our story and see just where the heck it's going because honestly at this point it's anybody's guess.
Her interest in football isn't purely theoretical, she has a particular football in mind - the one held by Cookie Lowden, the star quarterback of this high school and/or college team!
Uh-oh, who's this? Some "nice guy" looking to insert himself into Lynn's love affair with football? If you aren't in one of those jerky monkey suits, buddy, then give it up! The Jerky Monkeys were, of course, a legendary garage band that played in the area's clubs for two years - they performed in monkey suits and did a 45 minute version of "Hang On Sloopy." The guitarist left to form "Thee Noo Witchdoktors" which later became "Pyramid Mindbender", the drummer got into computers and is now a billionaire, and the bassist lost an arm in Vietnam and is now a popular TV preacher. This garage band trivia has been brought to you by That Guy At The Record Show News Network, your source for useless trivia about go-nowhere garage bands since 1977. And now back to Stupid Comics.
Oh man, even the football team is giving Cookie static about his girl friend! Cookie embarrasses easily, you guys! Football players are sensitive!
Okay Lynn, exactly how much time are you going to waste throwing yourself at this guy who won't kiss you, and who ditches you for other guys at every opportunity? Ditches you for guys he gets sweaty with, and then showers with? I mean how much further does this have to be spelled out for you, Lynn?
it gets so bad that Lynn has beg the football captain to tell the football team to lay off the teasing because it's putting a real cramp in her romance with the guy who's not interested in romance with her! And THEN it turns out that Jerry - THAT DRIP! - heard the whole thing! Lynn's day is not going well.
Nothing like a little surprise kiss to let the girls know you really care. Why not try it today, fellas? disclaimer: MISTER KITTY NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR SLAPPING OR LEGAL ACTION THAT MAY RESULT FROM ADVICE GIVEN IN THE 'STUPID COMICS' FEATURE. FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.
Can you imagine how disgusting and degrading and... strangely satisfying... that stolen kiss must have been? Especially to Lynn who's been hurling herself at Football Boy for what seems like decades? Can this mean a whole new world of kissing from non-football boys is opening up for Lynn? Does she actually like Jerry - even when Jerry does his goofy "glasses-on-nose" face?
And of course in the middle of this personal crisis another, more important crisis looms -namely that football team SUUUUUUUUUUUCKS. And nobody, not even the most dedicated fans of high school or college, we still don't know, even the most dedicated fans of this brand of football cannot figure out why they suck. But wait!
WHAT'S THAT? Nerdlinger glasses brain-boy using his thinking type brain to analyze past performances and suggest improvements? I guess those guys on the team had been spending too much time focusing on making fun of Cookie and not enough time on the game. That happens sometimes in high school football. Or maybe college. Hard to say.
Finally, consensual physical contact between two principal characters! And really, isn't that what romance comics are all about?
Many lessons to be learned from this story. Use your brains to insert yourself into whatever it is your crush is into... don't let the taunts of fellow football players stop you from kissing whoever you want to kiss... something about keeping perspective that the story walked away from in the second panel and never went back to... Bob Powell draws teenagers as if they were 40... so many lessons.
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