Some folks say Charlton romance comics are too easy to make fun of. "Like shootin' fish in a barrel", they say. "They lower a bar that was all ready pretty low to begin with", they say. Well, I say they're right! Charlton romance comics are easy marks! Like this issue, in which two of its three stories cross the stupid threshold!!
First up is this tale of May-September romance, in which a youthful-looking 39 year old is wooed by a 22 year old who looks like every other douchebag in the Charlton romance stable.
As Ruth thinks about her daughter being away at college, the same drawing of Jim obsessively stalks Ruth, a 39 year old woman who repeatedly says "Dear Diary" while writing in her diary.
Anyway, I don't know what her problem is, so what if he's 17 years younger? What's wrong with dating younger m...
OH, right. Basically still a child. OK, carry on then.
Hmm... giving in all ready Ruth? Drawn by the sexy way he sulks and whines like a toddler? No, I think Ruth has a plan! All she needs is her official Carnac the Magnificent comedy turban and she's off!
And voila, Ruth's ingenious plan works! It turns out Jim is willing to settle for anyone in Ruth's general gene pool... in the space of one, count 'em one panel, he's totally forgotten about Mom and is ready to pester Daughter for rides home.
Actually, it looks like he glued his eyes shut. Probably a Krazy Glue mishap at the office. Well, it's OK, he can tell by smelling her pheremones that she's Ruth-enough. Ruth-ish, if you will.
Look at them, guy who just came in for the last 2 panels! Now, let them look at us while we make out in front of them! Lucky Ruth, she gets to make a family member AND a co-worker uncomfortable at the same time!
Our next heroine isn't so lucky, despite the tender way her fiance gently pats the edge of her hair. Why, you ask?
Because this is the next page, that's why! Fred not only expects her to put up with being groped by his greaseball boss (in front of the boss's wife!!), he gets mad when she doesn't.
It's not entirely Fred's fault though, I mean she made outrageous accusations against him. Accusations like "stop touching me" and "your wife is right there".
Yes, she misunderstood him puckering his lips and placing them against her face over and over. That is it. This may be the first Stupid Comic that requires a trigger warning... well, except for "Rock Heads". brrrr
Anyway, Laurie decides to take the vacation to Hawaii alone, and gets hit on a lot because it looks like she's in a singles bar rather than an airplane. Seriously though, I know airplanes used to have a lot more room but this thing is huge!
Yes, if only Fred was here, he could probably barter a free cab ride to the hotel in exchange for a couple of gropes and a quick handy from Laurie! Fred's so good at business.
uhhh probably? If by nice you mean dtf? Are you sure it was for his job though, I mean maybe Fred just likes to watch, you know, like a cuckold. That's a thing, you know, not just a vague internet slur!
So, Fred appears in Hawaii to tell Laurie he only wanted to show his horny boss some fun, because his wife is "always giving him a hard time". Let's take another look at the boss's wife, shall we?
Yeah, look at that battleaxe, she really looks like she's about to start... crying... or maybe fall asleep... in a mean way though I bet!!
Yes, you were wrong, Laurie, that's why Fred had to change jobs and work in a completely different department. It totally wasn't anything on his weirdo boss or anything.
Our new son-in-law is going to pimp out our daughter if the need arises! Hooray! Let's celebrate!
And so, as the Hawaiian sun sinks slowly behind that yellow curtain, we bid aloha to another Charlton romance comic, knowing in our hearts we will meet again! Farewell!
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