The course of love never runs smoothly, as the saying goes. And let's be fair; if it DID run smoothly, then by golly, what would romance comics be about? Nothing, that's what. Let's peek in on one counselor to the lovelorn and see how she deals with the problems of two little people.
Two little people who love butts. No, wait. Two little people who love, but... but their heads are weirdly malformed. Well, good on them for soldering through life's difficulties.
Lillian takes us all back to the summer before and her lazy, hazy, crazy daze with her brother Sammy and their family friend David and David's childish, unrealistic wish to halt the flow of time, just like Christopher Plummer does in the film "Star Crash."
Brother Sammy has been throwing Lillian at David all summer, because Sammy has nothing better to do than run his sister's life. Admittedly, whatever happened to Lillian's skull, sort of a combination flattening and squeezing action, probably didn't help her attract boys.
BRENT ASHTON INVITED YOU TO GO DANCING? YOU DIDN'T SAY YES DID YOU? ARE YOU KIDDING? YOU BELONG TO THIS OTHER GUY THAT I PICKED OUT FOR YOU!!
So Lillian ditches Brent and goes to the drive-in with Sammy and Sammy's Choice For Lillian, which is David. Say, Lillian, this sounds funny coming out of MY mouth instead of your brother's, but will you be my girl? I promise you lots of third-wheel dates involving your brother, who can't seem to leave you alone!
But their chance at sibling-enforced dating is DESTROYED by the one thing nobody counted on - David's beating the draft by joining the Air Corps! Good move Dave; you can learn technical skills, you avoid foxholes, there are barely any inspections, and their PT requirements are a joke! Also it gets you the hell out of Lillian's life, which is a bonus for Lillian!
Lillian doesn't mind. In fact Lillian is like THIS IS AWESOME and WHEN DO YOU LEAVE and LEMME HELP YOU PACK
That's what Sammy likes, to watch other people kiss. Gonna get Sammy in big trouble one day.
And with David safely off in the wild blue yonders, it's time for Brent to make the scene, which this comic has not shown us due to space limitations. Got plenty of space to show Sammy hectoring Lillian endlessly about writing David, though. Why don't YOU write him, Sammy? You've got more invested in this relationship than any of the people actually involved! Jeez, get a hobby or something!
Oh what should we do, Mrs. Rock? Should we... tell the truth about our relationship? Even though it might cause distress to two people who really have no say in what we do with our lives, seeing as we are all grown adults with jobs and lives and faces that occasionally look as if they're melting?
Let's consider carefully all the angles in this complex relationship problem that, in most cases, is resolved before recess ends and all the fifth graders return to their classrooms.
Lillian's happiness and emotional well-being are at stake, but she can't even have two minutes to herself before her brother barges in, desperate for help with HIS problems.
Admittedly, he's got problems. Most of which involve his compulsion to meddle in the lives of others.
You see Sis, I finally realized that I've been shoving you around like the little car in a Monopoly set, and in spite of everything I've done to try and shove you and David together he's decided to go career and to ask you to forget him, and seriously, what happened to your face?
So THAT'S the "putting him at ease" face, Lillian? The face where your nose has vanished, leaving two shark-like nostrils flaring below your walleyed stare and your painted-on eyebrows?
And so, a completely contrived situation was resolved by four adults having a conversation with each other. Maybe the globe helped. That's the way it went, and the way it could have been handled at any point by people being honest about their feelings, or by people not trying to force other people to become involved just so he could watch them kiss. Now all that remains is the romantic blissfulness of bliss and romance, and the weird greasy marks left in Lillian's forehead after Brent's done jamming his chin into her eye socket. The end.
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