If there's one thing kids know about electrical safety, it's that the concept is best expressed by a pelican wearing a baseball cap. At least, that's what Ontario's power utility thought, and that's why Zap, their pelican mascot, was festooned across transformers and power infrastructre and even a few comic books!

Hello there Zap! Say, tell your letterer that comic book balloons don't need quotation marks, okay? No? All right. Let's get on with the safety.

That's one way to nip big trouble in the bud; a giant talking hat-wearing bird all up in your face saying KEEP OFF THAT FENCE.

Barb knows a boy who took a dare to climb a hydro pole. He got electrocuted. Barb also knows who dared the boy in the first place, but she isn't telling. Never climb hydro poles!

NOTE FOR OUR UNITED STATES READERS: the majority of Ontario's electricity used to come from hydroelectric dams. Now it's about a third, and the rest is nuclear and other sources. But for some reason, nobody wants to start calling them "nuclear poles."

No matter what topic you ask Zap about, he's going to work electricity into it. Treehouses, fish, baseball bats, he'll bring the subject back around to electricity no matter what.

This is just a straight-up cold blooded threat. Mess with the bird, you sleep with the fishes.

"Gord cut down a tree that hit power lines. Marilyn's pool skimmer hit power lines. At least, that's what the cops and the coroner think. Stay on Zap's good side - don't end up like Doug and Marilyn!"

Remember, Zap is always watching you, even when you're in the bathtub. Way to creep us out even further, Zap.

Zap covers his face in horror. The spinning blades rush down upon poor Fido's skull. And electricity was involved!

But hat-sporting pelicans weren't the only way Ontario Hydro kept children safe from the wonderful, deadly electric rays that make our life worthwhile. They also used regular-type people in regular-type people situations!

Bill Anderson is a lineman with the county and he drives the main road, looking for another overload, and here's his wife and his two children and their cat and their dog and their hydro pole. That hydro pole has been a part of the family for generations.

An experienced and dependable lineman, Bill Anderson is so experienced and dependable that he won't even try to get that cat down, even though this is exactly what he's trained for. Way to go Bill.

Never leave irons or toasters around, watch that the little ones don't eat electrical cord or put their hands into the electric heater, and have thousands of copies of safety comic books starring you and your family printed up to hand out to babysitters. It's really the only way to be safe.

Every year some daring youngsters climb hydro poles and towers. They didn't use their safety sense! Is YOUR safety sense tingling? Keep off those poles and towers!

His family was curious about electrical safety so Bill brought home a safety film to show them. And now, we get to read a comic book about a guy showing a movie. Actually right now you're reading a website about a comic book about a movie. Maybe in the movie they listen to the radio and maybe on the radio a guy is reading a book about, say, painting. A painting about a sculptor. How many more media can we work into this? The sculptor is working on a statue of an opera singer. An opera about a poet. Yeah, that's it.

Just want to point out here that the 21st century has solved that pesky "CB antenna" problem once and for all, by storing all our CB antennas safely in the garbage or the recycling bin.

Now the power of the comic book medium transports us into the decision making parts of Bill and Joan's minds as they decide to show the safety film to their Cub Scout and Brownie troops. Or maybe this scene here is from the movie they are showing to the Cub Scouts. I'm confused. Better call Hydro now!

Remember children, only adults change fuses, or touch the service panels, or change reels so that we can continue watching this movie. I mean, continue reading this comic book about people watching a movie.

When the reel is changed, the movie continues with its parade of death as hapless electric consumers meet untimely ends. All thanks to electricity!

A shouting hardhat man is the best way to ensure treehouse safety. Another good treehouse safety tip is to not let your kids anywhere near treehouses, because if they aren't throwing stuff down at other kids from the treehouses, they are falling out of the treehouses and breaking their arms and/or legs. Treehouses! Nature's death traps.

He never thought he'd hit that power line! I don't know why he never thought that. I mean, it's a giant tree and he deliberately cut it so it would fall right into those power lines. Maybe some people shouldn't be allowed to use chainsaws.

The real tragedy here is that swimming pool season in Ontario is about five days, tops. Check with Hydro before building a pool in your yard. They'll probably tell you it's not worth it in the long run, even if you don't electrocute yourself.

Sure, you just drunkenly slammed your car into a hydro pole, you're probably suffering from a concussion, a broken nose, and whatever trauma the air bag gives your face when it explodes out of the dashboard. But now you've got to hop like a bunny out of your wrecked car!

Parachutists and skydivers and hang gliders run a severe risk of death from.... parachuting and skydiving and hang gliding. Power lines are like number fourteen or fifteen on their checklist of things to not get killed from. Stay safe! Don't parachute or skydive or hang glide!

Do we have to call Hydro to help us with everything? Not always, but it's a good idea! For instance, I can't figure out how to shut this projector off! Better call Hydro just to be safe.

And now let's let some smug kids in their precious little Junior Safety Officer shirts act all superior because THEY know the electricity safety rules and we don't. Maybe we should read this book again until we get all the answers right. Or maybe we'll just call Hydro every time we have a question about electrical safety. Or maybe we should go live with the Amish. I'm going with the Amish. The food's better and the beards are terrific!