One of the strongest pieces of evidence pointing towards massive CIA testing of hallucinogenic drugs upon wide segments of the American population, the otherwise inexplicable success of the comedy/variety TV show HEE-HAW is still regarded by researchers as the nadir of Western civilization, and indeed of life on Earth as a whole.
But how best to capture the essence of HEE-HAW in comic book form? Who among America's comic publishers is the perfect fit? Why, Danbury Connecticut's most prominent (and only) comic book company - Charlton! Their low, low, low page rates and overworked ex-cereal box printing press are just what the doctor ordered!
Illustrated by one of our favorite artists, Tony "Werewolf" Tallarico, this exciting foray into the world of Hollywood extras, desperate country music artists, and menacing, demented Faulknerian man-children (hint: size 60 overalls) promises new insights into the universe of comics based on syndicated country comedy/variety TV shows.
Most of the comic is one-panel gags stretched out to fill a page. As you can see, I'm using the word "gag" loosely. A more precise usage would include "reflex".
When not a-grinnin' and a-pickin', ol' Roy was a-inventin'!
You see, he fell on the potatoes and it mashed them all, thus inadvertently forcing a change in that evening's fare. If that's not worth a page I don't know what is!
Among HEE-HAW's other fine features were pages of riddles and games sure to please the less demanding residents of any state-sponsored home for the mentally impaired.
Entertainment!! Entertainment in its purest form - the floating head of Buck Owens!
That's right. Decorate your room with this. I FUCKING DARE YOU.
Ever wanted to stick your fingers in Lulu's leg holes and find out what it feels like to support her corn-fed, love-starved bulk? NOW'S YOUR CHANCE!
PLEASE... PLEASE KILL ME
Of course HEE-HAW features longer stories that highlight the creative struggle to explore new ways of filling up space and stretching thin material to the breaking point. This story is SO SECRET that maybe you shouldn't read it! Wait, did I say "secret"? I meant "putrescent". My bad.
What would HEE-HAW be without a gag involving somebody on the toilet? Much more pleasant, that's what.
And that's the gag, Mister Grandpa said "cold" and they thought he said "code." Thank you Sesame Street. Also amused to learn his name actually is "Mister Grandpa."
As we ponder these philosophical thoughts, one thing comes to mind: I do not believe for one minute that the people involved in this had ANY TROUBLE at all getting pills down. Quite the opposite in fact.
HEE-HAW of course was insanely popular, proving that there's always a market for deliberately terrible jokes delivered by bosomy models in fake hick accents amidst cardboard barns and fiberglass hay. And in fact nowadays thanks to the miracle of DVD and the hunger of the market for product, you can own every single episode of HEE-HAW in crystal clear picture and stereo sound for you to enjoy forever and ever! What do you think of that, Lulu?
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