Well ladies! It's getting close to New Years and that means it's time to LAND THAT MAN so you won't be alone when the clock strikes midnight and all your friends are showing off their engagement rings and/or new mink coats! And normally your own feminine type beauty and natural charm will be enough to snag the beau of your dreams. But sometimes things stand in the way of your romantic bliss! What could be the toughest obstacle standing between you and the altar?

That's right - mom. Always making those unreasonable demands about actually meeting your dates! Asking them basic questions! Well I never.

WELL I.. UH... ROGER CARTER... ER... GEE... I dunno, if he can't handle faking up pleasant sounding replies, this one might not be a keeper after all.

We didn't see the part were Mom hauled out the waterboard and the car battery. Tends to dampen a guy's enthusiasm, if you know what I mean.

All those boys are out for is "a good time"! How dare they involve my only daughter in their non-matrimonial shenanigans? This isn't the time in your life for fun and amusement - landing a husband is DEADLY SERIOUS BUSINESS and must occupy your every thought and action!
Surely there must be a way for Joan to go on dates with boys and avoid Mom's third degree... but how?

Don't bring the boys home? Well, there's a thought. Sounds crazy, but it JUST MIGHT WORK.

HOLY CRAP JOAN. Cool it down there a bit. Maybe Mom is right to keep this one on a tight leash!

"I'll just meet you on a street corner somewhere, Raymond! Remember to bring your $25!"

So Joan's plan for eternal happiness is to just keep meeting her guy on street corners and never let him find out where she lives or what her family is like, ever. Okay then! I'm sure this plan will work perfectly forever. OR WILL IT.

And so we learn that the only man worth your time is the man who will sneak around behind your back. I dunno, I don't blame him, if I was dating a girl who only wanted to meet on street corners I would do some gumshoeing myself. And remember, mothers do know best! WHAT ARE YOUR INTENTIONS YOUNG MAN?!