Heavens to betsy! The entire English department is coming over for cocktails and you will just DIE if you can't impress them with your wit, your zest for life, your... how shall I say it, your "je ne sais quoi" or something. You've gotta show those eggheads you have what it takes, brain-wise. And we have the perfect medium with which to express this sentiment - cocktail napkins. WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE cocktail napkins.

Illustrated by noted jazzy 50s skinny-tie enthusiast Mitch Hager, these breezy cartoons match actual 100% verified quotations from Bad Bill himself with snappy commentary on Our Modern Life! If this doesn't make that assistant dean think twice about confirming your husband's tenure I don't know what will. For instance we match "Othello" with wacky scenes of family comedy!

Was Shakespeare himself beset with the woes of domestic strife, perhaps with Ann Hathaway herself? Certainly these cartoons give one pause to wonder! Would you like another martini, Doctor Wiffenheimer? Yes, I know you're a PhD and not a medical doctor. Ha ha ha.

Even the vagaries of dress and fashion failed to escape the attention of the number-one word-jockey in the English language.

And would it be a 50s cocktail napkin if we couldn't work some alcohol-soaked humor into the proceedings? No. No it wouldn't.

Did Shakespeare ever consider that in the future we'd be mystified and bamboozled by the complex machines we have surrounded ourselves with? If we take these cocktail napkins as evidence the answer would be "yes".

But of course if you have any combination of the cartoon arts and the printed cocktail napkin you are eventually going to work your way around to the one inescapable topic no 50s conversation ever strayed far from - Howdy Doody. No, wait, I meant sex. Sex!

The oldest game in the world - man chases woman, until she catches him. Or the cops show up, whichever.

Or maybe the creep just stares at the woman across the alley. Who can say what complect'd arrow Cupid may cause to waft langwards't? Not that jerk Marlowe, that's for sure.

And of course we must be reminded of the fate awaiting those girls who succumb to man's passion.

Yup, that's an image I want staring at me as I down my third double Scotch! Truly this Shakespeare fella, he was one of the greats.

And we'll leave you with one of William Shakespeare's greatest triumphs; being used as punchlines for cocktail napkin gags about fat ladies and skunks.

Wouldn't Hamlet be improved by more farmers? Come on Drama Department, time for a bold new interpretation!