Temptation comes in many forms - that rich chocolate cake, that big bag of money left unguarded while the bank clerk takes a smoke break, the empty Cadillac with the keys in the ignition, the liquor store that just screams "ROB ME!!!", and so on. But are there other kinds of temptation? Romantic revenge temptations? Why I think there very well may be. Let's find out.

Our poor girl here gave in to the temptation to selfishly hurt her boyfriend and it turns out the only person she hurt was herself. But how? Let's amuse ourself with her heartbreak.

Our heroine for this story is a young nurse who's in love with an intern (or "interne") who thinks he wants to be a doctor, helping the sick and healing the injured and all that jazz, but by golly all this Hippocratic Oath stuff better not get in the way of their lunch date if he knows what's good for him! Right off the bat you get the suspicion that the medical profession might not be Mary's best choice of career, or husband.

"One of these days he'll put saving a life in front of one of our lunch dates, and then I'll REALLY teach him a lesson about the sanctity of human life and the immeasurable gift of healing that brings good to all humanity! No, wait, I'll teach him I'm selfish and terrible. THAT'S what I'll teach him."

On the other hand, he can't be all bad, he IS saving her a seat right on the front row of a juicy operation. Wear something you don't care about, there may be some backsplash!

Brave Nurse Mary, checking out for the rest of the day so she can get ready for a date. WORST NURSE EVER

I'll do anything for love, except let George have anything in his life before me! THOU SHALT HAVE NO GODS BEFORE MARY, says the First Commandment Of Mary.

It's a wonderful date for George and Mary, marred only by the waiter's look of disgust at George's measly tip. Hey, at least the waiter isn't chasing them out into the parking lot to give them their tip back because it was so small it was an insult, which ACTUALLY HAPPENED TO US ONCE, in a restaurant that surprisingly enough we never visited again and has since gone out of business. I'm just saying, wait staff, sometimes meals are pricier than you'd expect and your wallet isn't as full as you thought it was and the restaurant doesn't take plastic, so cut me... I mean George, cut George some slack.

And for whatever reason George is totally in love with this possessive, controlling rhymes-with-witch, and right then and there he pops the question, ensuring a lifetime of complaining about every object and activity that might possibly get interrupt his love for her. True love, sighs Mary.

Uh oh, here comes Bob Dickson - heir to the Dickson's Household Appliance dynasty! This bow-tied Lothario oozes charm and cash! Is there trouble on the horizon for the upcoming George-Mary engagement?

Look at that - the waiter smiles broadly at the big fat tip from Mr. Dickson and his cash-stuffed bank account! I'd like to see you again Bob, but my busy job at the hospital is so demanding, what with taking afternoons off to get my dress fitted and my hair done. Easing the suffering of the unfortunate, you know.

OH MAN, George has important doctor work to do and he's gonna be late to the big dance. THE MOST IMPORTANT NIGHT OF MARY'S LIFE, ruined by some clumsy goofball and his ruptured spleen, or whatever. George can't do that to Mary! Mary will show him, you bet!

Hey, conveniently it's Bob, calling at 8pm on Saturday night for a date! Classic Bob. But Mary is oh so ready to ditch the zero (George) and get with the hero (Bob)!

George stuffs himself into his tux and hustles over to the party just in time to see HIS FIANCE leave with ANOTHER MAN to visit HIS YACHT. She'll be an "old sailor" before the night is out! You sure know how to sweet-talk 'em, Bob.

Bob wants to get into a swim suit? I bet he does. YOUR swim suit, Mary.

And after one night of passion aboard the Love Boat, Bob is so smitten that he's asking the already-affianced Mary for her already-promised hand in already-agreed-upon marriage.

Faster, Bob, faster! Faster and better!


Gosh, I wonder if this hubris-filled drunken swimsuit yacht makeout session will have some kind of ironic comeuppance? Surely not.


And who's the first face Mary sees as she awakens from her auto crash concussion, but George. Gosh George, I know I ditched you and ran off with another man to get drunk on his yacht and promise to marry him, but will that come between us? YOU BET YOUR SWEET BIPPY IT WILL, says George. Now get in there and get married to your drunken cripple!

In a matter of minutes they're hitched forever! I guess revenge doesn't believe in long engagements!

And now Mary is trapped in a loveless marriage forced every day to see the handsome, competent face of George, the man she spurned in a moment of temptation. Remember, the only person she hurt was herself! And Bob, who's now handicapped for life, and George, whose heart has been destroyed. So really, the only person she hurt was everybody, more or less. Remember kids, snap decisions and selfish obsessions are your key to a ruined life! And that's the story of My Great Love, Which Really Wasn't That Great At All.