WARNING: The following stupid comic contains nudity, adult situations, frizzy hair, man-on-wolf violence, swears, and kitty puke. Sorry about that last one.
No, seriously, our cat puked right on this comic. Everybody's a critic! Now why would any comic book publisher put a giant block of black ink on their cover? Well, because it's a tricky 1990s style double cover with a flyleaf obscuring vital illustrative elements that lead us to a greater understanding of the artistic intent of the creator.
That is to say, naked women. Here at Mr Kitty the naked parts are tastefully obscured by the face of Mr Kitty. Not because we're ashamed of the human body, but because obscuring naked human body parts with the face of Mr Kitty is the purest essence of comedy.
So. Dream Wolves, everybody! Take off your clothes and let's begin!
Jackson Square in New Orleans is a literal cauldron of mystery! In that it was deliberately constructed in the shape of a giant metal bowl and sometimes suspended over an open fire for purposes of cooking large amounts of gumbo! And the mystery is, nobody knows why. Maybe sexy minidress lady knows. There is, however, no mystery about the frizzy hair she's sporting. It's really humid in New Orleans.
Here we see two grown adults on the streets of a major American city engaging in meaningful adult conversation. You want some? You give me some and I'll give you some! Yeah, I'll give it to you! I'll give you some of that of which we speak! Which is.. what are we talking about, exactly? Heroin? Pop Rocks? Popeye's Chicken coupons? Coupons.
The Raven, an omen of impending calamity, observes the two figures below, waiting for someone to diagram this sentence, which, perhaps, is confusing, in, its, construction.
Turns out they were talking about giving each other some savage, flesh-ripping wounds. At least that's what she was talking about because she's some kind of horrifying were-woman! This is why it pays to be very specific when talking about making exchanges with strangers on the streets of New Orleans.
So that's the wolves! Now let's move on to the dreams, shall we?
Sleeping soundly in his lovely Xeroxed home is Nathan Carnifex, running for governor of Louisiana against former Klansman David Duke, who is a real guy, a real Klansman and felon who was a member of the Louisiana state house for 4 years and actually did run for governor of Louisiana, as well as other unsuccessful bids for public office. He also wrote a self-help book for women. But enough about David Duke, let's get on with the dreaming!
Well Nathan, you see, your body is going through some important changes right now as you prepare for manhood, and this means that sometimes you may have disturbing or arousing dreams, which may result in issue of fluids and an uncomfortable sticky feeling when you wake up. This is purely natural and it's all a part of growing up. Except for the part where the sexy lady turns into a fanged monster and tries to kill you, you may want to speak with your doctor or clergyman about that part.
One of the great parts about running for public office is that you can arrange a parade whenver you want. New Orleans loves parades! And we see in the crowd our were-woman from earlier, now dressed in business casual, thinking of her fifteen year revenge plan.
You've been looking for this guy for fifteen years? Lady, he's running for governor. He hasn't exactly been hiding. Read a newspaper sometime.
So, we have sexy werewolf lady, we have intriguing wet-dream gubernatorial candidate, how will these two classy adults meet? I bet it'll be classy and sophisticated!
They accidentally bump into each other on the street and then Carnifex sends his assistant to arrange a meeting. Nothing women love more than a man who can't be bothered to walk ten feet to ask them out!
And before you know it, Were-Lady, now attired in the extremely sophisticated couture of a community college English instructor, is being shown through Carnifex's tastefully appointed Future Governor's Mansion, complete with antiques, fine art, and a TV on top of what appears to be a much larger TV.
As this super classy getting-to-know-you dinner devolves into wine-soaked monosyllables, our sophisticated adults and their game of seduction delicately transitions into a more intimate connection. What cosmopolitan dance of desire will they weave with both word and gesture?
That's how sophisticated adults navigate the timeless ritual of seduction - just rip open the shirt and thrust those bosoms forward.
Suddenly their intense wolf lovemaking is interrupted, possibly because Carnifex is turning into a vampire (bet you didn't know that, did you? It's an important element of this comic that they just figured everybody would know already), but mostly because they suddenly realized they were humping naked outdoors on a cold stone patio in late October. Not sexy.
"A fucking lycantrhop (sp)!" Why, yes to both counts, thank you! I try!
She realizes that she's been intimate with a vampire and for a werewolf lady that means it's time to bring in the wolves that this comic was partially named after. We also get some full frontal male nudity, and it's nice to see a little gender balance when it comes to naked people in these things.
What's great about drawing evil spirit wolves is that you can just ink in some silhouettes and you're done! Horrifying bloody creatures of the netherworld ripping the flesh of naked vampire man merely suggested by some big blobs of ink. This is the magic of comic books, people.
And if you ever wanted a comic where a naked vampire man shoved his forearm through (and possibly electrocuted) a spirit-wolf while a naked werewolf lady looked on in horror, well, this is the comic book for you, it's called Dream Wolves and our cat puked on it.
Now that the spirit wolf electrocution is over, baby, let's get back to the lovin'. Nothing revs a guy up like electrocuting some spirit wolves. FUCK YOU says naked werewolf lady! EXACTLY says naked vampire man! This thing is turning in to a blood-soaked, X-rated Johnny & June Carter Cash duet!
So has Max been watching this whole naked patio park sex, dream wolf attack, blood flesh drinking thing from the start? Or did he just now look up from tonight's episode of "Friends" to see his boss, naked and bloody, being mauled by a naked woman in the front yard? Did he envision tomorrow's headlines as the news reporters undoubtedly keeping tabs on the future governor of a major American state file front-page stories about Carnifex's nightly blood orgies? Because that's what I'm envisioning right now.
And let's remember, he's a vampire and she's a werewolf and she's drinking his blood which means she's going to... I don't know. I thought the blood-drinking had to go the other way for people to be turned into vampires. I don't know what the rules are any more. Let's just assume that they are now married in the eyes of Satan and the state of Louisiana.
Yes! It's vampire werewolf nudist power couples FOREVER! Unashamed of their bodies, immune to the itchy discomfort of grass and twigs poking into tender body parts, able to disgust even the jaded citizens of New Orleans, proudly waving their vampire werewolf naked body parts on gubernatorial campaign posters and ads for the rest of the election cycle! Remember, vote for the naked vampire werewolf. It's important.
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