Corporal punishment for children, once accepted and even encouraged, has in recent years been discredited by a number of sources, most of whom are not exasperated parents at the end of their ropes, do you hear me? So it's not surprising that comics for children would tackle this issue and give it their full attention and serious consideration.
Or they could just use it as a springboard for an inane, weirdly padded five-page short. Whichever.
Here's Richie Rich to force us to confront our assumptions and expectations about reinforcing the behavior of children with physical pain! Professor Keenbean is downright insulted at being called 'nutty professor', but let's face it, those films made millions and millions of dollars. He should be proud to be associated with such a success.
The harsh, vindictive nature lurking beneath America's wealthy class is never far from the surface, as Richie demands violent retribution for the crimes of the less fortunate.
Looks like those two scamps are back to their old tricks! I wonder which family-friendly Eddie Murphy-starring remake they'll scrawl on Keenbean's door this time? Nutty Professor II: The Klumps? Dr. Dolittle? Dr. Dolittle 2?
well, they never get the chance because they're assaulted by a mechanical robot. A mechanical SPANKING robot. Sure, the story is careful to insert "it didn't hurt" into the dialogue, but we all know that what Keenbean's doing is at the very least assault and battery, and any competent lawyer could find lots more potential charges, if he wasn't blinded by dollar signs in his eyes at the thought of suing someone connected to the Richest Family In The World.
Liability, is what I'm saying.
Does that robot spank EVERYONE? Yes it does, to Keenbean's obvious delight!
Programmed to spank anyone who makes too much noise, the robot is immediately rented by ME and sent after our next door neighbors who get home from the bars at 2:00am and crank up the tunes, letting that rumbly bass vibrate through our building. What I'm trying to say is have some consideration, suite 508.
"Spanking The Truck". So THAT'S what the kids are calling it these days.
The real issue we have with presenting stories like this is that we KNOW somebody out there is seeing this panel and getting really, really excited, you know, in a 'mature audiences' fashion, and hey, that's great, but we want no part of that here. And yet, a comic book with a robot spanking a truck, it's not like we can just leave it alone.
TOOT SPANK SPANK SPANK
TOOT SPANK SPANK SPANK
TOOT SPANK SPANK SPANK
Hey, I think it's those guys in 508 keeping the party going all night long! (alternate caption: it's S&M night at Studio 54!)
Now it's time for Richie Rich to take the lead in stopping this spanking menace, which, in spanking vans and chimneys, has clearly gone too far. But Professor Keenbean is sleeping! How can we let him know? Think, Richie! How... how can one communicate to somebody who's sleeping? Should you attempt to change their state of wakefulness? Do you think that might be the key, Richie?
YES, Richie! Yes! Kick him awake in the manner of North Korean prison camp guards! That's what you're thinking of, right?
Nope. You see, Professor Keenbean invented an amplifier. No, not just any old TEAC amp you bought out of the back of a van from Eddie you took shop class with because he needed the money for weed and he probably stole it anyway, but an amplifier that somehow eschews traditional electronic means of sound amplification in favor of spray-can aerosol something something. And Richie can't just holler at him, or kick him awake like I suggested, but he's got to somehow use Keenbean's own snoring to force... well, I don't want to give away the ironic comeuppance.
There you have it, Keenbean made a loud noise and his very own creation, the SPANK-O-TRON 2000, gave him a hiding he won't soon forget, and everybody realizes that corporal punishment really doesn't solve anything and should be avoided by progressive parents and scientists and rich kids.
Turns out spanking can be put to good use! The Richville Band gets a robotic metronome to keep time as they march unbidden through the streets of Richville. After hours, Keenbean picks up a few extra bucks renting out his spank-bot to various groups of deviants and strange-os willing to pay through the nose for their weird kicks. And Richie Rich can rest easy knowing that sometimes a little spanking is just what's needed.
PREVIOUS STUPID COMICS
NEXT STUPID COMICS
BACK TO STUPID COMICS INDEX
BACK TO MAIN INDEX