The world of comic books contains many wonders. And then there are the things we just wonder about. Like, say, Wonder Boy.
Who is Wonder Boy? How did he get the strength of a herd of elephants? Why does he wear Danskins? And what's with that weird smile? These are all things we wonder about Wonder Boy. Will our questions be answered? Let's find out.
Hey gang, want some fun? Put on your ballet outfit and go down to the warehouse district and start mouthing off to the teamsters. It'll be great!
But since Wonder Boy has the strength of a herd of elephants, the heavy crates are like feathers to him. Groaning feathers.
Why, one of those crates he was tossing around casually had a prisoner inside! Oh, you're only a little boy, Danny, REDRUM.... REDRUM.... DANNY'S NOT HERE MRS. TORRANCE. DANNY HAS GONE AWAY
Sorry, had a little dizzy spell there. Never mind.
It's a well-oiled murder for hire outfit that kidnaps victims, nails them into crates, and then dumps the crates into the river, which flows somewhere the police are unconcerned about finding bodies in crates, I guess. Sure, you could just shoot your victims like every other gangland crew, but that's just dull. And now it's time for Wonder Boy to get a job. I bet he knows WAY better methods of killing people than stuffing them in crates!
Not only is Wonder Boy on the trail of the murder killers, but he's also a conscientious and thorough office cleaner who isn't afraid to (a) show up for work in his Wonder Boy tights and (b) show off his herd of elephantine strength!
Miss Cole is keeping the lipstick industry in business! To be honest, it's whoever decided to package lipstick in tubes that roll around and get lost, that's who's to blame here.
Turns out "witnessing feats of strength" is enough to knock any grown woman out cold. Get a REAL job, you anesthesiologists!
"Now as I was saying, Mr Mitciv, about how large of a crate do you think you'd fit in?"
Wonder Boy's real super power is his ability to walk into Redrum's Room Of The Death Shaft in full view of Mr. Redrum himself, without attracting suspicion or attention of any kind. With regards to Redrum's next target, I know a lot of you out there are tempted to indulge in a little mitciv blaming, but look, it's not his fault he never learned to spell things backwards!
When you tell your kids you work down at the packing plant, "catching bodies flung down a ten story shaft" probably isn't what they have in mind.
Let's let Wonder Boy and his speedy tights wrap this one up quickly - no no, we don't want to highlight anything as dramatic or exciting as dragging a semi truck across town with your bare hands, that's a little too butch for Wonder Boy, don't you think? Let's just fit this in six small panels on the last page. We still have so many things about which to wonder about Wonder Boy. Will the fists full of Wonder Boy adventure waiting for you in the next issue of National Comics help? We can... only wonder.
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