A beautiful American girl marries a dashing foreign prince. But was the wedding of glamorous Grace Kelly and Prince Rainier of Monaco doomed from the start to be haunted by tragedy? Was Grace's happiness in escaping the clutches of that creepy Hitchcock fated to be overshadowed by the ominous clouds of tragedy? And did an issue of "House Of Mystery" predict it all? Well, no. But let's check it out anyway!
This issue appeared shortly after the fairy-tale wedding of Grace and Rainier, stars close approximations of Grace and Rainier, and no doubt reflects the sentiment of the two or three hundred Monacans who might have grumbled about their Prince marrying a honest to god movie star, how dare our beloved monarch marry outside our tiny principality's very small pool of eligible potential princesses. I bet sales of House of Mystery soared in Monaco with this issue!
Yawn, one more supposedly sophisticated European filling gullible American heads with fanciful prejudice against the Roma peoples? We all know the only curse of theirs that ever worked was that whole Larry Talbot werewolf thing. And that was years ago.
The prince is, check this out, answering a question about his intentions by saying somebody else will have to tell the reporters what his own personal statement is. Sounds to me like he already knows who's boss in this upcoming relationship!
The artist is doing a good job making this guy look better than the real Prince Rainier, but the real Grace Kelly is not receiving any favors here.
You know the tabloids LIVE for headlines like "Cinderella Gets Her Feller!" And Carol - Carol lives for water-damaged palace ceilings. Don't deny her this, Mardo!
It seems Carol has stumbled across a secret room full of portraits of beautiful women. Where I come from, this means you're in a garage somewhere and the beautiful women are holding Snap-On Tools, but I'm sure there's a vastly more regal explanation here.
So Mardo explains the tragic back stories of three princesses, one of which seems like she's being asked to be part of an open marriage? That's how I interpret "Roma will understand." Those sophisticated Europeans and their shocking love lives!
Well, Roma, you managed to rhyme "crown" and "down" but you couldn't work up anything for "Camarano"? Why there are lots of words that rhyme! Words like... um... uh... never mind. I guess that's part of the curse.
Horses are dangerous, fire is a killer, and firearms accidents happen with depressing regularity. Some "curse," Roma!
The key take away here is that this country had three princesses that died under mysterious circumstances and were subsequently erased from history. I guess Camarano only respects royalty who die of old age? Also that apparently the Prince knows about this curse and is willing to put his new bride in mortal danger without so much as a "look out for horses and shotguns?" Now practice walking with the very heavy crown, Carol. It won't cause spinal deformities... for at least a year or so!
In retrospect, the Murder Weapon Room might not be the best place to practice crown-walking.
Dang it, first the arrows and the axe try to kill her, and she's visited by three dead princess ghosts, and now there's a hairpin thief on the loose! What ELSE could go wrong?
Suddenly Carol realizes Dick Tracy was right - the nation that controls magnetism DOES control the universe!
And with the merest, most delicate touch of "fact checking," Mardo's elaborate scheme comes crashing down around him.
It's true. Mardo had an entire room set aside, commissioned three oil paintings, hired three actresses, and designed and constructed a crown containing a powerful electromagnet with its own self-contained power source, just to cockblock his boss.
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