IT'S HERE! NOT A DREAM! NOT AN IMAGINARY STORY! To quote Mia Farrow in Rosemary's Baby, this is no dream, this is really happening!! Richie Rich and Mayda Munny, two pre-teen children of distinctly different gene pools (possibly different subgenera) are getting hitched! Every story is a winner, or it wouldn't be in Richie Rich Jackpot$.
"Aw," you think, "this is just going to be 8 pages Mayda fantasizing about marrying Richie in the future when they're grown up". But you're wrong! Only the winner-est of stories start off with Mayda's Fantasy Hour!
What I appreciate about Mayda is she has no illusions about herself. A lot of turbo bitches are convinced they're wonderful people but Mayda totally owns how awful she is-- 99% of her fantasy is pissing off the Rich household staff so badly that they quit en masse, but even the best fantasies must come to an end. Let's get on with that child wedding!
This book is titled "Strange Marriage Customs of Foreign Lands" but I suspect it's actually a coded handbook for sex traffickers. You'll note that it doesn't say kids get married to EACH OTHER on the island nation of Weirdsly.
Oh, Mayda, if you're flying unaccompanied to an island where children can get married, I really hope you're at least carrying some pepper spray or it won't be YOUR fantasies that are about to come true. I certainly don't expect that chaffeur, who is apparently somewhere on the autism spectrum, to be of any help.
Huh, who would've thought a country where children can marry would be crummy? Oh well, maybe if it can become a popular spot for talentless heiresses to make their vanity project films, Weirdsly can cut back on the sex tourism industry.
Yes, nothing guarantees a hit movie quite like a weird, bulbous-headed kid in a Little Lord Fauntleroy suit on the poster.
Hand it to Richie, despite this being an obvious trick on Mayda's part, he's gonna give it his all!
Yes she's dressed as a bride Richie, what sort of scene did you figure you would be in where your only line is "I do"?
In most jurisdictions, the actual marriage is when the legal paperwork is signed by the officiant, the newlyweds, and at least one witness, but in a dirt poor country that doesn't seem to have an age of consent, it's when the guy in the sash and top hat says "I now pronounce you man and wife". Because of course even child marriages can only be heterosexual.
Go ahead and read the laws of the country, Richie. It's unlikely that any country where kids can get married have any requirements for informed consent.
Lucky for Richie, everyone else also thought they were just filming a movie, so it turns out Mayda's sham marriage is actually a FAKE sham marriage! Better luck next time Mayda! On the bright side, it's not as if a marriage between two 10 year olds would be recognized anywhere but the island nation of Weirdsly, so now you're not obliged to stay there for the rest of your natural life. At least Richie, as both a philanthropist and someone who knows plenty of people in the movie business who are also sexual deviants, will now make sure Weirdsly becomes that hub of offshore film production Mayda could only promise them. Soon sex tourism will only be the SECOND biggest industry on the island!
He says that now, but when he's on wife #7 in his mid 40s it'll get a lot tougher.
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