Children with developmental or behavioral issues need all the help society can give. This means we can't afford to overlook any possible source of aid, no matter where it comes from, or who's offering it, or if it differs from traditional methods. Or if they're a dog.
Nurse Dinkum, the only therapist with a BA in Disability Studies AND a predilection for Liv-A-Snaps!
This therapy was covered in Dinkum's second year, all part of a course titled "Advanced Annoying Your Co-Workers"
You heard it here first kids, playing with matches and lighting fires is super! Light a fire today.
It takes the powerful olfactory senses of a canine to notice the reeking stench of flaming shoe polish? Carol, you might wanna get your sense of smell checked out. You might got the 'Rona.
Everybody here is angry at Brian but Nurse Dinkum is DEFINITELY angry
Let me just say here that maybe a student nurse and a dog might not be professionally empowered to best handle a juvenile pyromaniac?
Well, he's been given a stern talking-to. Now on to the next treatment option, which is... okay, stern talkings-to is all we got. Good luck, wood-frame structures of the United Kingdom!
I know it looks like Nurse Dinkum is following this conversation with interest, but what she's really thinking is "Food? Food would be good. Is that food? How about that? What about over there? Food?"
I was wrong! Nurse Dinkum knew she had to solve the Case Of The Matches Supply! And she did. So Brian has like, five or six dozen boxes of matches stashed away? By the time he's used all those up he'll either have moved on to serial torture and sex crimes, or he'll have developed a two-pack a day cigarette habit!
"aw Dinkum, I can't stay mad at you, even if you did, like, fink on my match stash, man."
Look Carol, Student Nurses are on duty 24 hours a day! You never know when there might be squirrels to chase or garbage to roll around in.
Looks like Dinkum has found another hidden stash - of death! This, of course, is the backdoor pilot to the "Dinkum, Medical Examiner - She's Got Four Legs!" series that never quite took off.
At least, this is what Dad told the insurance investigators, and they seemed to believe it. I got a new bike!
We're terribly sorry for your loss. Mind if we use your tragedy as a teachable moment in trying to scare this weird pyromaniac kid out of his firebug habit? It's my dog's idea!
Again I want to stress how amazingly unprepared student nurses and dogs are at dealing with destructive impulse-control disorders in the youth. Even the impulse-control disordered youth knows it!
And that's the end of our thrilling story. What's up next for Nurse Dinkum?
The problem facing Dinkum was whether or not to hide under the bed and howl. Listen for the ungodly wailing in next week's Bunty!
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