Is there an Overstreet Comic Book Price Guide category for "comics that creeped me out as a kid?" There sure ought to be. This week's Stupid Comic, while being plenty stupid, is still spooky, eerie, and downright disturbing enough to make even the most hardened ten-year-old shudder! Or me, anyway. Isn't there a Comics Code to prevent this? Won't somebody think of the children?
Hiss. HISS! Let your blood run cold while steam comes from your lizard nostrils, not sure how that works, here in this 50s horror comic that's basically one of those cheap monster movies that were flooding the drive-ins at the time, all about people turning into blood beasts or indstructible men or hideous sun demons or atom brain creatures. Was this a discarded screenplay for "The Alligator People"?
The native bearers can't enter the country of the devil lizards, because they all forgot their passports, except for Bob. Bob got into trouble once in a devil lizard strip club and earned himself a lifetime devil lizard country travel ban.
"Some guy you've never met, and in fact he, uh, died - that guy told me he'd seen them. What more proof do you need?"
She wants a he-man, Barris! And I happened to be as close as she was going to get for the foreseeable future! Now put that gun down.
Just in time to prevent a he-man pummelling, enter... The Lizard!
I guess "agility unbelievable in a short-legged beast of its size" is tough to draw. Just put it in the caption and let the reader's imagination handle the rest!
Cecil was the dragon, right? From Beany and Cecil? Cecil the Sea Sick Sea Monster? I'm A Comin' Beany Boy? Yeah. Well, here, Beany is saying "hiss-sss," so look out
If you remember last week's Stupid Comics and its rescue from alligator attack, you'll join me in saying "why is there never a Boy Scout around when you need one?"
Also I'm pretty sure the devil lizard here is thinking to himself "Hmm, tastes like chicken!"
For ONCE a gun owner demonstrates sober and responsible firearms use, but people *still* find something to complain about.
And now the evil Barris loads up all the equipment, and the guns, and a five hundred pound stunned devil lizard, and somehow manhandles it all by himself out of the reeking, devil-lizard infested jungle, just to get his revenge. That is a lot of work there, Barris. Hope you brought a hand truck or a wheelbarrow or something!
Remember this was back in the 1950s, when you could just show up at Immigration with your poisonous devil lizard and customs was all like "whatever." But god help you if you defy the laws of medicine!
Man, I sure hope Dr. Barris is also a dermatologist, because that's what's needed here
So this is one of those panels that creeped me out, the gleeful expression on this doctor's face as he sees Colton all lizarded up. So creepy! Hey Colton, maybe this guy who's overjoyed to see your hideous condition might not be the best fellow to cure you.
Hold on there buddy, if you're shedding your skin several times a day you are WAY above the normal for any kind of reptile! So just hold off on your Internet Web MD self-diagnosis for a minute, let the medical profession do its job!
It's getting worse! The shedding is every five minutes, the "siezures" are more frequent, and that guy from the carnival sideshow won't stop trying to hire me for his act!
Gee Colton, turns out you couldn't trust the mad doctor who let the devil lizard bite you and who left you in the jungle to die and who grinned maniacally when you showed up shedding your skin all day long. What a shocker. Fascinating theory about devil lizard reproduction, though, sort of a cross between a werewolf and a zombie and learning about vampires on street corners.
I think what disturbed me the most about this panel is not just the horrifying lizard-man slowly losing his humanity, not just being sneered at by Barris, but that clumsy, childish lettering on that GRAAAAAA, it's lo-fi horror, is what it is.
THERE'S that jolly doctor again, so happy to have a second devil lizard! And there you have it, a bleak, cynical ending for a bleak, cynical story that doesn't even have the courtesy to throw in a last-minute comeuppance for Barris, won't even give us the kind of last minute square-up reel those monster movies always wrapped up with. I guess that's the difference between comic books and movies, movies want you to stick around for the second feature ("Dragstrip Girl" starring Fay Spain and John Ashley) and buy more popcorn, but comic books already got your dime, get lost and go have some nightmares already!
Become a Patron!
Hey gang, thanks for reading Mister Kitty's Stupid Comics! If you enjoyed it and want to show your appreciation, you can now become a patron by hitting that Patreon button above! Or, you can hit that PayPal button on our home page, or turn off your ad blocker so's our advertisers know you're out there! And remember to visit our YouTube channel, our Facebook group and our Instagram? Why don't you.
PREVIOUS STUPID COMICS
NEXT STUPID COMICS
BACK TO STUPID COMICS INDEX
BACK TO MAIN INDEX