BOOOooooOOOOOooo! Sure, history is boring, but what if we make it... SPOOOOOKY??


Sure, Adolph Hitler's death in a bunker has been well documented and extensively written about, but WHAT IF a random skeleton told you that wasn't the real story? I don't know about you, but that's all the proof I need! Tell us more, random skeleton!


We start off with the very date of his """"Supposed"""" quote unquote death, where quite contrary to poppin' (cyanide) pills, he's instead gone gun-crazy and murdering a man whose face we cannot see and whose identity is a complete mystery. Let's see, long hair, sandals... can it be our mystery murder victim is... JESUS?


Props to the artists, who made sure Hitler was all greasy and sweaty, but were pretty generous in their portraiture of... Hermann Göring? I think? The random skeleton narration calls him Hitler's bodyguard but he doesn't look a bit like Rochus Misch. Thank you Google Image Search!!



haha, OK real talk here, tricking Eva Braun into taking the cyanide capsule by pretending to take one himself is something I could actually see Hitler doing. Ain't he a stinker??


And now what we've all been waiting for, the moment where Hitler goes into a glass tube to wait for a thousand years, just like Fry in Futurama. But by adding the extra 100 years to his sleep, Hitler makes sure he won't encounter any wacky robots or bossy one-eyed women. His loss!


That's right, according to Top German Scientists, history literally repeats itself every 1100 years, which is why, if you look at historical records of the year 922ad you'll find it was all about ending mask mandates, sanctions on Russia, and Jeff Bezos's dick shaped rocket.

OK the rocket was more 921 but whatever


No! Killing the scientists after they've explained everything and are no longer required to hang around? Why?? Now they'll never be able to defect to the US, where their expertise will be put to use during the Cold War! They never could've seen this coming.


Skeletons! Not the narrating-a-story kind, just the regular, dead kind. But look! Hitler's hair has grown long, just like that guy at the beginning of the story! And everything is literally exactly the same as when Hitler was put to sleep, except the war is erupting around futuristic round apartment buildings like what the Jetsons live in! But it can't be the Jetsons, because the Jetsons takes place in 2062. That's right, 40 years from now!


So did he think world war 2 was just continuing for 1100 years, and he'd still be fuehrer? Did he leave a note for his future SS guards explaining who he was? How exactly was this supposed to work? I guess he was a madman, like the narrating skeleton says. In any case it's clear long-term planning was not Adolph Hitler's strong suit.


Considering that in Hitler's mind that whole scene with him shooting the long-haired intruder happened a couple minutes ago, you'd think he'd be able to work out what's going on here. He was a madman though! And pretty dumb.


The most ironic part has yet to come! Are you ready yet? Ready for the irony? I bet you can't guess the ironic ending!


That's right, the ironic twist ending is, Future Hitler is wearing a BLUE uniform!

This also begs the question-- did the sandal-wearing Hitler on the first page get into a cryonic chamber invented in the year 845? Were there pre-historic Hitlers getting into sleeping tubes constructed out of wooley mammoth skins and brontosaurus bones?

Maybe the Stupid Comics of the year 3122 will have the answers. See you then!

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