Worried about your weight? Statistically, yes! Most people, even the really fit ones, think they could stand to lose a few pounds. Don't thank me, thank a multi billion dollar health and wellness industrial complex that has penetrated every quadrant of our society - right on down to the ghosts.

That's right, even after you die and become a cartoony blank-white ghost, you're still going to be obsessed with your weight! There is no escape. Because even after you die your spirit has weight and mass and can be detected with a simple sidewalk penny scale. Good news for the Ghostbusters!

You'd think the life of a tuff little ghost would be freewheeling and fancy-free, but Spooky's ruled by the rigorous schedule of "scare raids," and the rigorous demands of his ghost stomach.

I would actually pay good money for a ghost who would silently breeze into my house and clean up after a party while I sleep. Maybe Spooky is onto something here.

Well, looks like there are some vacancies on the night shift at the Acme Candy Factory! (Bears only need apply)

At first I was all like "what ice cream parlor is open at four in the morning" and then I realized that Spooky is a tuff little ghost, he's just breaking in and stealing ice cream sodas, he's not some supposed goody-goody like Casper, who would wait around until the ice cream parlor opened, saunter in and order a sundae, and then watch as everybody screamed "A G-G-G-GHOST!" and ran out the door. As if Casper doesn't know what he's doing!

Oh sure, you can try to exercise your way out of a bad diet, but as long as you keep eating junk food - or, as long as you're a ghost now suddenly subject to the laws of gravity - that weight is gonna stay on.

It's a well-known fandom theory that Casper is actually the ghost of Richie Rich. Does that mean Poil is the ghost of Richie Rich's girlfriend Gloria? And if so, why is she letting that non-ghost hussy Wendy steal her Casper away?

Here Poil reinforces society's war on obesity and the obese by withholding ghost intimacy from Spooky, just when Spooky needs emotional support the most.

You're born, you live, you struggle, you suffer, you age, eventually you pass away, and suddenly you're in the afterlife, where you'd think at least the one thing you didn't have to worry about was your health. Wrong!

Thank you Spooky for letting us know ghosts have heartbeats and ghost doctors need stethoscopes. Also thank you Spooky for giving us hands down the inadvertently creepiest image ever to come out of one of these books, the spectacle of that fearful rictus-grin Spooky with a horrifying curved candy-cane tooth erupting from his ghost-mouth, no doubt inflaming his ghost-gums terribly.

Sure, you might have left THIS vale of tears, but there's ANOTHER vale of tears coming right up. Enjoy your ghost cavities and ghost root canals!

No more ice cream for Spooky, he's a changed ghost. It's nothing but ghost Crossfit training and ghost keto-paleo diets from now on! So remember! After you die, lay off the sweets, or the ghost girls won't go out with you.

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