When immovable emotional object meets irrestible emotional force, you get heart-rending decisions, terrible sacrifices, and this week's offering, which has all those things in a story so melodramatic it even affected the color registration. That, or Gord on the four-color Heidelberg is drunk again. Whichever!

Is this going to be an exciting ghost story? Maybe that conductor is the ghost who's haunting somebody's heart! Maybe it's a ghost train. Get on that train Ginny! Get haunted already!

Yes, Harriet does look pretty ill. Maybe SHE should have the nurse instead of this perfectly healthy six year old?

If Herb can't be by the side of his suffering wife, he should be in the garden where he belongs. You know, a herb garden. Right? Get it?

Herb and Lola kept apart by the strictures of our restrictive society? What a tragic story of unrequited love. Oh, and Harriet dying, no one to look after the kid, that's sad too, I guess

Another week, two months, fifty years, who knows? Who really knows anything in our random, unpredictable universe filled with uncertainty and confusion?

Herb meets Ginny and it's all wolf whistles, hand gestures, "oh, you kid" and Tex Avery cartoon wolf reactions. Subtle!

"Aw, I can't stand sickly women. I like 'em like you, rail-thin and walleyed!"

Listen lady, if your "coldly" is a polite "no thanks," you need to work on your rejection technique! Don't be afraid to cut loose with a big "GET LOST, CREEP!"

Wisely, Ginny demands a chaperone before going anywhere with Herb. Using a child as your shield against handsy jerks? Sure, why not.

Way to put that child in mortal danger there Ginny. Great plan.

Oh no, creepy Herb is gonna recklessly drive away, leaving Ginny and Penny behind. Don't threaten us with a good time, Herb!

Look who's here, it's Denny, here to make you wait half an hour for a table and serve you cold eggs and bad coffee. But they're the only thing open at this hour!

Ginny watches while Denny and Penny, complete strangers, one of which is a minor, just start kissin' on each other. The 1950s were a different time, I guess.

Ginny, Denny, and Penny. Appearing nitely at the Hi-De-Ho Lounge! (2 drink minimum)

Ginny wants someone to lean on, Penny wants somebody to hold on to, Denny's going to take care of business, sounds like we've got some hit singles on our hands here.

Dragging your philandering brother in law out of his gin-soaked hideaway - just one of the many perks of extended families.

I know you think the place is getting crowded Herb, but look at it this way - there's suddenly room for one more.

Herb's Ginny-kiss-extraction scheme is to threaten to marry the other woman he's been running around with? Try this with the ladies, fellas. Let me know how it turns out.

The terrible choice facing Ginny is now clear - if she wants to be Penny's mom she'll have to be Herb's (ugh) husband! To be fair, this means a week or two of bad sex, tops, before Herb starts hitting the bars again. Still pretty terrible, though.

"How can I leave either Penny or Denny? And where would I find a Jenny or a Kenny to replace them?"

As Ginny watched Penny's trusting little face, she knew what she must do. She must find a nurse that can be counted upon to get that child to sleep on time!

Herb, Herb, Herb. Quit fooling yourself. You don't want to settle down and be domestic with Ginny, you want to live it up with the wild Lola in a succession of dim nightclubs and bars until your liver gives out and you find yourself face down on the sidewalk in Atlantic City. Follow your dream!

Well, it certainly looks like Ginny has doomed herself to a life of degradation and heartbreak for the sake of Penny's welfare. She's agreed to marry that scumbag Herb and to never see her true love Denny ever again, and no one and nothing can ever stop this from happening, there's no way out of this predicament, mostly because this comic book story is almost over.

What's this? Ladies and gentlemen we have an stunning new development here in the second to last panel!! Every obstacle to happiness is suddenly wiped from the face of the Earth in an extremely convenient one-car accident. Now a glorious future lies in store for Ginny, Denny, and Penny, with only one question remaining - figuring out the customary amount to tip the state trooper who made all this possible. Good work, officer!

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