Well, it's the holiday season once again, and that means it's time to get topical and celebrate by reading about the richest kid in the world ruin his new $44 billion toy as he slashes staff, alienates advertisers, bans journalists, and... maybe that's a little too topical. Let's celebrate the holidays with a DIFFERENT richest kid in the world.
Richie is that guy that asks everybody if they've finished their Christmas shopping yet just so he can smugly inform you he's finished already, he was finished months ago, what's wrong with you? He's that guy.
Here, in just one panel, Richie Rich Comics encapsulates the hollow core at the center of our late-stage materialist/capitalist world.
Richie is making the Santa pitch like he's a street corner preacher asking strangers if they've heard the Good News about Jesus.
That's right, Off Brand Jughead, hit Santa with the punishing reality of poverty and the suffering it causes! Not so jolly now, huh?
"You must be Richie Rich! Either that or this is some kind of elaborate "To Catch A Predator" operation!"
FOLLOW THE BOYS (1963)
directed by Richard Thorpe
DP: Edward Scaife
starring: Connie Francis, Paula Prentiss, Russ Tamblyn, Cadbury
Richie is happy again because he has another reason to go out and buy things. He's also happy because he gets to wake up an entire neighborhood! It's a Christmas miracle.
As Santa arrives, we're at "hats leaping off heads" levels of surprise and excitement! And that's the maximum level of excitement Harvey Comics will allow. So you know this is a big deal!
As a parent you basically have one job, and that job is to never admit there isn't a Santa Claus. What I'm trying to say is that this kid's dad had one job. One job! And he couldn't do it.
This kid's dad lost his job at the movie theater because he kept hollering "THIS WHOLE THING IS A FAKE" during films, got thrown out of magic shows for loudly reminding the audience that everything was merely a trick, and don't even ask what happens when he sees people browsing in the "fiction" section at the library.
(he starts yelling)
The eternal question: go along with this whole "Santa Claus" thing and enjoy presents, or loudly proclaim you're too smart to fall for this little kid story and enjoy sitting there, presentless?
What's that? Flying away with his reindeer? With his real actual not-fake beard? I'd like to see his Pa explain this too!
Richie told Cadbury to use his imagination, and we see now why Cadbury is a butler, and not in a field that requires a lot of decorative creativity. "Put a garland on the limo" isn't gonna cut it, buddy
And it was the real Santa Claus after all, who for some reason had avoided this area for decades. And as Richie's cap goes sailing into the night, let us here at Mister Kitty wish you and yours a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays and we'll see you in the new year!
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